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Bro Kunle Emmanuel
Posts: 326
Joined: Mon Jul 19, 2010 9:51 am
Gender: Male
date_of_ marriage: 23 Oct 2000


Post by Bro Kunle Emmanuel » Mon Dec 30, 2013 1:08 pm

Marriage is the second most important decision on earth. The person you marry will determine how happy, successful and how long you live on earth. It could even determine your eternal destination.

1. Courtship: Courtship is the period of knowing each other before marriage. Courtship is semi-marriage not marriage. It is a decision making time. A man or woman you do not court, you will not know. It is time to build friendship and compatibility. When choosing a life partner, compatibility is very important. “Two cannot work together except they agree” if you marry a partner that is not compatible with you, you need much more energy to make it work.
If you have a home of error, you will have descendants of error.
The problem with most African homes can be attributed to way our fathers treat our mothers more or less like slaves. That tradition has been passed down and most men still do not care about their wives' feelings.
And it is during courtship you will know, the perception your spouse have about marriage.
Courtship is important in order for you to know the person you are to spend the rest of your life with.
While going into courtship, do it with a positive attitude and do everything to make it work.

2. Do not be desperate/ Anxious: - A desperate person will always sell his/her self cheap.
When you are anxious or desperate, more often than not, you get the wrong thing. Have you noticed that each time you show too much interest in a particular item in this part of the world, the seller in most cases takes advantage of you. That is how it is in relationship, when you are desperate, the other person takes advantage of you:
Watch, every desperate person has something to hide. So they want to achieve something before the real truth comes out.

3. Don’t engage in sex before marriage
“Marriage is only honorable, but the bed is undefiled’’.

Pre-marital Sex is a veil that can blindfold your sight. When you are involved sexually with a man or woman, you will not really know him. You will only know him/her in flesh. 90% of almost all marital problems are caused by sex before marriage. Sex before marriage is almost normal now in our society.
Pre marital is the pollution satan has brought to join wrong persons together, so as to mess up their lives. Some people are not married today because of premarital sex and they are still willing to continue in it, not realizing the cause of their bondage. The word says, “He that honors me, will I honor, marriage is honorable to all. So He will only honor you with marriage if you honor His temple.
It is only a mad man that does the same thing, and expects a different result. Sex before marriage only destroys, it does not build.

4. Be sure he/she knows God
Any person that does not have respect for God will not have respect for you. If he/she cannot respect His maker, you will not also be respected

5. Marry your friend
Marry because of love not money, beauty or position etc. Somebody with who you cannot talk over issues, laugh over issues, tease each other is not a right spouse for you. Marry somebody you can tell your hurt, pains, and feelings and discuss with.
I always say communication is the backbone in every marriage and relationship. Friendship will give you room to communicate.
This is another reason I encourage courtship. Someone you did not court, how will you know each other enough to establish friendship?

6. Make sure it is love and not infatuation: Love is a decision to care and be with somebody no matter what the other person does or does not do. Love is a decision, not a feeling.
“love does no wrong to one’s neighbor, love suffers long, love is kind, it believes all things, bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things, seeks not its own, thinks no evil.’’
Love is that thing that will remain, when other things are gone.
Anytime you are in a relationship and the person is always insisting on his or her own, the person is not in love.
Any man or woman that wants to have sex with you before marriage is not in love.
Love has the ability to stand the test of time but infatuation does not.
Infatuation has a short life span. Infatuation is the feeling that makes you want to explore each other’s body.
If you marry because of infatuation, you will have a horrible marriage.
Feelings are not constant; a lot of things can control your feelings.
If you want to have a beautiful home without regrets, marry because you truly love the person.

7. Forget about Age
Consciousness over your age, more often than not will make you marry the wrong person. Any decision you make in haste could end you up with the wrong partner.
Do not be in a hurry to make a decision because of age.

8. Be the right spouse: You must first be the right person to attract the right person. Make sure you are the right spouse for the right person.
This is very important; God is a faithful and righteous God. He will not bring a faithful man and give to an unprepared and unfaithful lady and vice-versa.
Are you self-centered, argue a lot, and full of yourself? Do you think marriage should come first or you should work on yourself?
Are your eyes only fixed on your honeymoon, and the celebration? You may be deceiving yourself.
That is not all that marriage entails, there are challenges that come with marriage. Work on yourself and be the right spouse.

9. Study how he or SHE treats others
The way a person treats others around them is an indication as to how you will be treated sooner or later.
You can easily know a person by the way he or she treats people around them that have nothing to give back.
If you are dating a man that shouts at his driver because he is paying him, the moment you become his wife, he will do the same to you because it seems he shouts at everyone under his authority.
Study how he or she treats their parents and siblings. You are likely to be treated the same way.

10. You must know the person’s temperament/character.
Temperament is the basic template with which you were created. God created people with certain tendencies, natural strengths and weaknesses.
Temperament is God’s method of creating variety. Some people are born with leadership or joviality tendencies. Others are born with a natural tendency to be withdrawn and introverted.
If you know a person’s temperament from the onset, you will know if you can flow with the person or not.
There are people that like going out, if you are an indoor person, you must be ready to make the sacrifice for him or her when they demand your attention in that area. Character on the other hand is a person’s personality which is affected by the influences of his/her life.
So, character is the product of personality plus all external influences.
Knowing a person’s temperament will help you to know the right person and know the person’s strength that will help complement your weakness...
We pray You won't miss it...

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Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2015 4:57 pm
Gender: male
date_of_ marriage: 10 Apr 1965


Post by Lucas » Fri Jan 16, 2015 9:29 pm

This is good write up , keep it up.

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