Questions & Answers on Sex and Relationship Funmi Akingbade

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Bro Kunle Emmanuel
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Questions & Answers on Sex and Relationship Funmi Akingbade

Post by Bro Kunle Emmanuel » Thu Oct 13, 2016 3:03 am


Can I ever get any woman pregnant?

Can I ever get any woman pregnant? I have a small penis and I ejaculate prematurely. I must confess to you that I am so dejected. Can a man ejaculate and pee at the same time? My friends say that is why I have not been able to get my wife pregnant?

Mr. Morris Gabriel

Yes, you can get a woman pregnant, even though your penis is small and you ejaculate prematurely, some sperm cells can mix with the new sperm in your urethra from a previous ejaculation if you go for the second or the third round of sex. However, you do not need to suffer in silence. Medication is available against premature ejaculation, weak erection and erectile dysfunction with the newly discovered herbs for small penis.

Do exercise, weight, and age affect fertility?

I am into sport and love what I do. Though I’m married, I have difficulty in conceiving and I have had two miscarriages already. My husband thinks my sporting activities and underweight are responsible for the delay. He insists I should stop what I love to do. My question is this, do exercise, weight and age affect fertility? We have a very good sexual life.

Biota Hygenous

Actually, moderate exercise is good for everyone and exercise should be encouraged for both women and men who are gearing up to try to conceive. However, excessive, strenuous exercise in women may result in disruption of the ovulation cycle, thereby affecting her periods. Normal exercise has not been linked to miscarriages (loss of pregnancy), but certain forms of exercise (for example, high-impact) should be avoided in pregnancy. Even in men, too much exercise may cause a low sperm count. A woman’s peak fertility is in her early 20s. At age 35 and beyond (and particularly after 40), the likelihood of becoming pregnant reduces. Even as men age, levels of testosterone fall, and the volume and concentration of sperm changes. A healthy diet is very important for women who are trying for a baby. Weight loss can disrupt a woman’s menstrual cycle and thereby reduce her chances of becoming pregnant. When trying to add some weight, be mindful that being overweight can affect a woman’s fertility and can cause complications during pregnancy.

Culled from PUNG NG

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Bro Kunle Emmanuel
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Re: Questions & Answers on Sex and Relationship Funmi Akingbade

Post by Bro Kunle Emmanuel » Thu Oct 13, 2016 3:04 am

Blood with my faecal products during sex

I am 48 years old and for some times now, I have been passing out blood with my faecal products especially immediately after sex. I do not and have not practised anal sex before but this has become a normal occurrence. Is it an old age syndrome or what do I do?

Mr. Willy Amicus

This may likely be pile otherwise called haemorrhoid which is a swollen, inflamed anal vain or veins. It usually affects people between the ages of 45 and 65. Symptoms (which can include pain, itching, swelling, and bleeding during bowel movements) usually go away within a few days; but when it presents itself with bleeding or severe pain especially while having sex, you should see a doctor. Constant constipation and diarrhoea may lead to pile and it could be hereditary. Sometimes age, straining during bowel movements and overuse of laxatives and heavy lifting, or any activity that causes you to strain or increases pressure on the veins of your rectum or anus, can cause pile.

Simple diet and lifestyle changes can reduce your chances of getting pile and also reduce the strain and pressure on your rectum when passing stools. Proper hydration and regular exercise also can improve digestion and reduce rectal straining. When you feel the need to have a bowel movement, don’t wait too long to use the bathroom.

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Re: Questions & Answers on Sex and Relationship Funmi Akingbade

Post by Bro Kunle Emmanuel » Thu Oct 13, 2016 3:09 am

My husband cannot gain erection to ejaculate after a tattoo on his penis

My husband and I did a homemade tattoo on our private parts as a sign of our undiluted love for one another. This was a joint decision few months ago precisely early last year. But I noticed that few weeks after the tattoo was made, my husband’s penis seems not to be as strong as it used to be. He cannot gain erection to ejaculate at all, if he ever ejaculates, that will be only during foreplay when he is supposed not to. Initially we thought it was as a result of stress from his place of work. But he changed his job over six months ago and the problem still remains the same. Is there any remedy. We are lost as to why this could be happening to us especially now that I want to be pregnant?
M.CEEY Mulika

I would still love if you can look closely and observe if there are other reasons for his erectile challenges and not conclude yet on the tattoo he has on his penis. However, pacing a tattoo on the penis could be a little bit risky especially when it is a permanent one. Because getting a permanent tattoo requires breaking the skin and having contact with blood, body fluids and tissue. The tissue of the penis may not be strong enough to receive such piercing since the skin of the penis is very tender and light. Besides, home-made tattoo often aren’t as healthy as those done by professionals. Because such tattoos are often done under unclean conditions, they also have a much higher risk of infection. Any type of tattoo involves health risks. The worst is a very dangerous infection, like HIV or hepatitis C, from unclean needles. One could also get impetigo, which is staph infections, or cellulitis, a deep skin infection. Another danger is impure ink that has mould or bacteria. This can lead to problems with the eyes, lungs, and other organs. If this condition persists, he needs to see an urologist fas

Can obesity kill erection?

Recently I have developed a protruding tommy which refuses to subside in spite of my work out and all types of exercise. My friend said it is normal and that it happens when men are advancing in age. They say that it is a middle-age thing but it is killing my sexual performance and my wife is not helpful at all. She is complaining bitterly, this is further killing me gradually. Whenever we want to make love and I see her reaction and her facial expression, I just lose all the drive and desire for anything on bed. What can I do?

Sammy Sunny

Carrying extra pounds especially round the waist is call men’s middle age spread and this can impact on one’s sexual performance. It also lowers most men’s self-esteem which affects their self-confidence on bed. Middle age spread and obesity in most men create a situation where these men have lower levels of the male hormone testosterone, which is important for sexual desire and help produce strong erection at any given time. This middle age spread and overweight is also linked to high blood pressure and hardening of the arteries, which can reduce blood flow to the penis. So in addition to these various types of work out, you have to reduce the quantity and frequency of meal consumption. This will definitely help, because your metabolism is not as high as when you were younger.

My nipples itches badly when my husband touches or sucks them

I’m in my early 40’s and very healthy. Few months ago, my nipples started itching on the very tip especially when my husband touches or sucks them. The nipples itched so badly that I thought I might rip them off. Sometimes they itch during the day, and sometime I stay awake all night. I can’t see anything at all. They look normal. But I am still itching and now it hurts under my nipples. I am constantly checking, not only for possible lumps but also for discolouration. This has made sex to be unappealing to me because the only thing that arouse me or get me to orgasm is when my nipples are sucked heavily. Anything outside this does not affect my sexual libido. Now it has been weeks we made love last because of the fear of itching. What do we do, My husband is just tagging along but I am sure his patience will soon run out.
Mrs. George olio

Many dermatology conditions can impact and affect the nipple such as atopic dermatitis, allergic reaction to laundry products, psoriasis, or even Fox Fordyce syndrome (apocrine sweat glands become clogged). Over rubbing of the nipple (e.g. jog bra syndrome) can start nerves firing inappropriately so that the sensation of irritation persists for longer time than expected. But to be on the safer side, you need to see a medical doctor as soon as possible.

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Re: Questions & Answers on Sex and Relationship Funmi Akingbade

Post by Bro Kunle Emmanuel » Sat Dec 31, 2016 2:55 pm

Do ladies have high libido only mostly during ovulation and in pregnancy?

Hi Funmi, I just want to ask this out of curiosity; is it possible for ladies to only have a raise in libido mostly during ovulation and in pregnancy? I notice that my wife mostly wants sex only during her ovulation and when she is pregnant. This has been going on since inception of our marriage, which means I am only privileged to have sex during the times she is ovulating and during her pregnancy periods. It means that this has happened twice because we have just two children and I am not sure we will have more. For me as a husband, I feel as if I am being used to produce children more than to really also enjoy myself.

Prince Babiloma

There are some facts that married couples must know about libido especially between men and their wives. Libido expressions are personal to each person and I think this may be the pattern of your wife’s libido. I would plead with you to find a way to be happy with it and also seize the opportunity to enjoy it. For instance, if her ovulation lasts four days and you know her libido is on the volcano during that time, then make sure you have sex morning, afternoon, night till the ovulation is over. This can be an awesome moment while it lasts. Besides, please know that men have larger amounts of testosterone than women, but interestingly, younger women have large amounts of circulating testosterone compared to older menopausal women, which is thought to contribute to women’s decreased sex drive with age. Women’s sex drives peak later than men; the generalisation that women peak around age 32 and men around 18 is true. But it does appear that men peak at a younger age than women due to hormones. Ladies’ libido peaks during ovulation, a combination of high estrogen and testosterone during ovulation which leads to a higher sexual desire. Pregnancy increases libido in most women which is due to high levels of hormones in the blood. Women of childbearing age have conflicts in libido based on ovulation, pregnancy and postpartum. Young men with large amounts of testosterone are indeed peaking with their sexual desire. To further enhance her libido production, you can incorporate heart-healthy and antioxidant-rich foods like sawa fish, onions, dandelion leaves, beans and legumes into her meals which increase circulation and also increase her libido. And make sure she is not an alcohol lover because alcohol is bad for libido in that it functions as a depressant to the nervous system.

He’s unaware of our midnight romp

My husband is fond of waking me up to have sex in the middle of the night, but then, he acts like he doesn’t remember anything about it the next day whenever I bring it up, even after we have had the best of sex before bed time. What’s going on, is it okay?

I want to believe, all things being equal, you guys are having a good relationship and if so, he may have a condition called sex-somnia according to research by scientists. Actually, waking up in the morning with no memory of initiating sex in the middle of the night isn’t especially common, but I have been getting more questions about it lately, especially from wives talking about their husbands. Some couples may be able to laugh this off—one woman told me she kind of likes it when her usually reserved and shy husband is sexually assertive in his sleep. But this can become a serious problem if the sex-somniac approaches the wrong person. And I also think this isn’t so much a sex issue as a sleep disorder and I would recommend consulting a sleep specialist if the issue is getting out of hand please.

Could I have accidentally urinated on bed during sex?

My husband and I use condom during sex to prevent pregnancy and it has worked perfectly for us. And so, I am used to the feel of not feeling any form of profuse wetness of sperm during sex except my own natural vagina lubricant. But recently, I start feeling more wet than I used to. Could I have accidentally urinated on the bed during sex?

Jumbo Mary

Well, if the condom is intact and you’ve ruled out the possibility that the wet spot came from him, just take a discreet sniff. Does the wet spot smell like urine? If so, there’s your answer. This is because there’s often a tiny bit of fluid left in the bladder even after women use the bathroom, and some certain sexual positions—such as the missionary—can put enough pressure on the bladder area to cause it to leak. If this happens only once in a while, then there’s no need to worry. If the fluid has no odour or a scent and you’re about to have your period, then, you may have ejaculated. But if you’re regularly leaking urine, it could be a sign of incontinence. All you need to do is to do more Kegel exercise to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles.

Why do I sometimes laugh or cry uncontrollably during sex?

Why do I sometimes laugh or cry uncontrollably during sex? And I enjoy it and secretly look forward to it because as soon as I start laughing or crying uncontrollably, I start feeling very aroused and mostly experience orgasm.

Mrs. Charity Olaking

This is uniquely strange, although according to researchers, sex is a neurological and emotional event. In other words, it’s intense, and getting naked (physically and otherwise) with someone can trigger unexpected feelings, especially if it is a young marriage relationship. An emotional reaction could also be due to hormones, state of your menstrual cycle or fears you have about the relationship, or some unresolved underlying problems going on between both of you. If you feel something’s not right, consider bringing it up with your husband or with a therapist.

She is dry but nowhere near menopause

I am 29 years old married to a 32-year-old lady. We have a good sex life but our challenge is, my wife bleeds every time we have sex. She is nowhere near menopause, but she is as dry as the Sahara down there even when she is in the mood with lots of lubricant. As a matter of fact, no lubricant, both natural or artificial, stays longer than a minute. How can this be? I am fed up, my saliva is gone.

Dimeji Djey

There are lots of factors involved in keeping the vagina naturally lubricated, but anything that sabotages your wife’s hormone levels or her hydration level, or her blood flow throughout the body can dry her out. Then I need to ask if she is on medications or any contraceptives. About five per cent of women taking oral contraception experience vaginal dryness. Other culprits that have nothing to do with age include antihistamines, breastfeeding, chemotherapy, in vitro fertilisation and diabetes. I am sure most of the lubricants you both have been applying must have been water-based ones, why not try and use a good silicone-based lubricant before sex immediately after bath?

Should I be worried if I bleed after sex?

If the blood is a fresh light colour, and this happens only once (especially after a strenuous intense sexual activity, with different kinds of styles), then it’s probably just the result of irritation or friction. And maybe your husband has a very big penis. But if it happens again or if there’s a fair amount of blood, a mixture of dark red and light red, then you should make an appointment with your gynaecologist. It could be coming from the cervix, the uterus or caused by an infection like chlamydia or gonorrhea. It could also be as a result of unbalance vaginal pH level, or abnormal sperm PH level. The normal pH in the vagina is between 3.5 and 4.5, and that creates the best conditions for good bacteria to proliferate. If the pH goes up too high, those good bacteria can’t survive, which allows the not-good bacteria to take over, leading to that unfortunate fishy odour as well as infections like bacterial vaginosis. Normal semen happens to have a high pH, around 7.4. “So, if your pH levels are already teetering on the brink or if you’re having a lot of sex, the introduction of high pH semen can make you bleed. Your period can also increase your pH level.

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Re: Questions & Answers on Sex and Relationship Funmi Akingbade

Post by Bro Kunle Emmanuel » Sat Jan 28, 2017 11:35 am

Does a man really go through menopause?

I am 65 years old, still want and love sex but my strength is failing. Does a man go through menopause?

Mr. Adamolekun Adamu Bello

Yes, a man goes through menopause, but to a large extent, different from a woman’s. Menopause is a term used to describe the end of a woman’s fertility; it literally means the end of menstruation. Female menopause is characterised by changes in hormone production. The male testes, unlike the woman’s ovaries, do not lose the ability to make hormones. A healthy male may be able to make sperm well into his 80’s or longer.

On the other hand, subtle changes in the function of the testes may occur as early as 45-50 years of age, and more dramatically after the age of 70. Because men do not go through a distinct male menopause period, some doctors refer to this as androgen (testosterone) deficiency in the aging male. Men typically experience a decline in testosterone production due to aging, but it can also be related to some diseases like diabetes. Whether waning function of the testicles contributes to such symptoms as fatigue, weakness, depression, decreased sexual desire, or impotence remains uncertain. If testosterone levels are low, replacing that hormone may help relieve them. However, replacing male hormones can worsen prostate cancer and high cholesterol levels.

Can a hysterectomy cause sexual problems for a woman?

I am a grandmother. Although still very active sexually, I recently underwent a hysterectomy. I still feel like having sex and want to but my husband thinks I should take it easy. Will engaging in sex complicate my health?

Lovely grand mother

Some women may experience changes in sexual function after a hysterectomy (surgical removal of the uterus). These changes may comprise a loss of desire, decreased vaginal lubrication and genital sensation. Furthermore, surgery can damage nerves and blood vessels considered critical to a woman’s sexual functioning. The best way to go about it is trying doing things bit by bit. You may not have sex the way you used to before the operation and you may have to take things easy, even when you feel you are okay. Little drops of water and little grains of sand make a mighty ocean. As time goes on, you may resume sex fully. So, take your husband’s advice and be in good health.

How can I improve my oral sex skills?

I am a husband with keen interest in giving my wife a good oral sex, but I lack the skill and courage. Is there a better way to go about it?

Christopher Silvanus

Think about something you excel at and chances are, you rock it because you really enjoy doing it. The same goes for giving great oral sex. The best way to be great at oral sex is to learn to like it. Or at least act like you do. That will help her feel more comfortable and then you will find you actually do enjoy it.

The biggest mistake husbands make when performing oral sex is going straight for the wife’s genitals. Don’t dive right in like it’s a pounded yam-eating contest! She’s not warmed up yet and it might even hurt her if she’s not aroused. The best thing to do is to tease her and draw out the experience before you even start going down. Plant kisses on her abdomen and thighs. Use your hands to gently massage the area surrounding her vagina to heighten her anticipation. When you finally do make contact, start off slowly with slight licks and gentle caresses to warm her up. Use both the tip and flat part of your tongue to flick and lick. Women tend to prefer circular motions, but experiment with different speeds and pressure, and pay attention to how she responds. If you’re feeling adventurous, try tracing the alphabet with your tongue, or lightly humming to create a slight vibrating sensation. You can also throw your fingers into the mix to try a little G-spot stimulation along with your tongue. As she gets closer to climax, keep doing exactly what you’re doing. Once she’s had her Big O, return to the gentle kisses around her outer labia and thighs before popping your head up to experience the praise for your hard work.

She is a top official but I want to conquer her on bed

Please Funmi, how do I get my top official wife to have sex with me more often? Yes, she is my boss at work but the only thing I can do to feel like a boss to her is to make her want sex with me more, as in like beg me for more. Give me clues.

Edopolo Matthew

You’re never going to “get” anyone to have more sex with you if you look at it as a one-way traffic. You want more sex and you expect your wife to come along for your pleasure ride. If you really want more sex from your wife, tailor the sex to her needs, instead of focusing all your attention on your pleasure and your ego.

While it’s common for couples to have mismatched libidos or pay cheque, it doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t like sex as much as you do, or not accepting you as her boss at home, she just might not need it as often, because of her work demand. A woman’s sex drive is tied to her brain and sense of security more than her nether regions. This means she needs to be warmed up for action. Foreplay starts after the last orgasm; so, if you’re feeling that she’s never in the mood, work on turning her on. Send her a flirty text message and tell her how good she felt last time you were together and what you’re going to do the next time you see her. Speaking of foreplay, kissing is another overlooked way to get things going and it’s often the first thing to slip by the wayside in long-term relationships. Lock lips to enhance intimacy and connection.

The last thing you want to do is to blame or pressure her, the more you push, the less she’ll want to give which won’t result in more action for you. You get more sex with helping her to be comfortable with you and herself even though she earns more. Sometimes, couples just aren’t matched up sexually no matter what you do, so it might take compromise on both parts to set a sex schedule that works for both of you.

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Re: Questions & Answers on Sex and Relationship Funmi Akingbade

Post by Bro Kunle Emmanuel » Sat Jan 28, 2017 11:43 am

He has trouble finishing what he starts

Sometimes my husband has trouble finishing the sex he starts and initiates. You need to see my husband when he is searching for sex, he looks so deprived, starved and you can literally see sex hunger on his face. He goes to any extent to get me in the mood and takes me to a height but as soon as I am almost deep into the act, my husband will get soft. He has never finished whatever sex moves he starts since inception of our marriage, what’s going on?

Mrs Apollos

If your husband has trouble climaxing, several things could be blamed. Your partner’s mind could be wandering elsewhere; maybe he’s distracted or is stressed about work. Then again, maybe he’s feeling self-conscious about not satisfying your needs in bed, you might have indirectly caused this. But if you suspect this may be the case, talk to him, pre-coitus [prior to sex], about ways to relax.

One more serious reason he may not be able to finish is something called “retarded ejaculation.” In this instance, a man may have no problem getting aroused, but staying that way and reaching orgasm is exceptionally difficult. This kind of problem has been linked to a number of nerve-related conditions like diabetes, nerve damage, prostate disease and the use of alcohol and drugs. In this instance, your husband should speak to a sex therapist.

My six-year-old girl has breasts

The growth of my six years old girl is so rapid that I am afraid of her being raped. She doubles her size in almost everything and this does not run in either of my family or the family of her father. Do you think she needs medical attention?

Worried mother

This is called central precocious puberty. Although a rare condition, it happens when the body matures sooner perhaps years earlier than expected.

Puberty usually starts around age seven and a half in girls and around age nine in boys. But with CPP, signs of puberty, such as budding breasts and body hair show up much sooner than parents might anticipate. It’s more common for girls. What actually happens is that the brain releases a hormone called gonadotropin-releasing hormone. which tells the pituitary gland to release hormones called gonadotropins. They tell the sex organs to make other hormones that start sexual development. In central precocious puberty, the brain releases GnRH at a younger-than-normal age and starts the process. Most of the time, doctors can’t pinpoint an exact cause for girls, but researchers have linked childhood obesity to early periods.

Most kids want to fit in with their peers. Developing early could make your child feel self-conscious. Other people may expect more maturity because they think your kid is older than she is. These challenges plus the emotional changes from extra hormones can be a lot for them to deal with. How can you help? Explain what’s happening in simple terms. Keep the lines of communication open, encourage your child to talk freely about her feelings, treat your kid appropriately for her age, watch out for the type of food she eats and make sure they are very organic and smaller potions; no artificial drink of any kind. Do what you can to boost her self-esteem. Try to focus your praise on academics or activities, rather than appearance. But for now, researchers are still looking for a way out.

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Re: Questions & Answers on Sex and Relationship Funmi Akingbade

Post by Bro Kunle Emmanuel » Sat Feb 11, 2017 5:53 pm

I experience vaginal dryness

Thank you for the good job and may the good Lord continue to guide you and keep your home and marriage. I thank you for the solution you proffered to my last question, about farting during intercourse. It was highly helpful. This time, my question is about dryness of the vagina during intercourse; why does it happen and what is the solution? I want to know why because something happened recently. During sex, I notice that one minute, I am wet and the next, I am very dry. My husband gets bruised during the act. Also, I want to know if a breast-feeding mother needs contraceptives. If yes, what is the effect on the baby?

Temitolu Opokunle

Most times, it may just be that there was no enough foreplay, which means that the vagina was not well lubricated. And some other times, it might just be that the vaginal wall is not secreting enough fluid to get the wall well lubricated. Also, when the time of thrusting in and out is too lengthy, there may be a form of dryness. So, before sex, let there be enough foreplay and make use of good lubricant. Before you take any contraceptive, it is advisable to see your doctor or family planning officer to be well informed. Please, kindly do that and do not take any over-the-counter contraceptive.

How Saturday Punch article helped me

My name is Ken, a young married man. I really appreciate your marriage enlightenment segment most especially the article, ‘Positions that enhance sex.’ This really enhanced my performance. Do you know that after I read through it online, I was in state of erotic treasures and thank God, I was alone with my wife. So, I called her to take a look at something and gave her the Saturday Punch to read and before she finished reading, I immediately jumped over her and just repeated some of the things you taught in the article. I was still very strong and ready to soar for more even when she appeared to have reached the climax. Big thanks.

The happy groom

Thank you. Keep reading.

I lost sexual feeling

Dear Madam, my problem is that I suddenly lost sexual feeling during sexual intercourse with my wife. This started four years ago, when we had a five-month miscarriage. What should I do?

Tom Timothy

You probably experienced a temporary loss of libido because of the loss of a dear one. But I assure you that things will be okay again. Just keep making efforts in a more relaxed way and the feeling will come up again. It is a passing moment.

How do I recognise weak erection?

I enjoy your articles because you educate and give good counsel on sex and sexuality and you do not encourage sexual immorality.

I am a working-class single guy. I will be 30 this December. I have never made love to any woman in my life. I intend to have my first hand with my legally married wife, though it has not been easy because I am human. How will I know whether I have weak erection or not? I am not comfortable with my erection or will it be harder when I am with a woman? I don’t want embarrassment when the time comes.

Akgpank Young Fidelis.

Since you are not so sure, there is definitely a problem somewhere, because you should have started noticing that you have a good erection as a teenager. And this is how you will notice; in the morning, you will experience an erection towards the peak of your waking up or when you are about to have your first urination when you wake up [if you are the type that does not wake up to urinate at night] or the last urination before the day starts, which is either called morning glory, or people give it different names. But it is a hard-on you will definitely experience. It also happens whenever you see any erotic picture, image or when a lady you love is around you, or when a sexual thought flashes over your mind. If you experience all these and you never for once feel a hardness of your penis, then there is definitely a reason for you to see the doctor or a sex therapist. This is because all these feelings should either stimulate you or give you temporary arousal or even an emission of semen in some cases when the stimulation is very high or unbearable, due to the carousing object.

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