1. "The one" obviously has to be a Christian, if you are a believer and follow of Jesus Christ then you know that "the one" can't be an unbeliever that doesn't share your beliefs regardless of whether they are a "nice person" or not. The bible says that we should not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. I will not dwell on this point too long since I will deal with it in other articles about dating non Christians.
2. "The one" has to be someone that you can live with their flaws. People are not perfect and you are not perfect yourself so why demand from other people what you yourself can't deliver. Christian singles often have this unrealistic picture of "the one" some go as far as having a list of the qualities they are looking for but they make no room on that list for flaws because they are looking for a perfect and finished person. The only problem is that that perfect person doesn't exist.
Even the best of us have our flaws and "the one" will have their flaws too. "The One" will have annoying habits, "the one" will get you angry sometimes, "the one" will be insensitive to you sometimes, "the one" might not understand you sometimes; "the one" will definitely make some mistakes. Don't let people's flaws blind you from their overall goodness. If all you ever focus on is the negatives in people then you will never see the good in them and chances are you will never find "the one"
3. "The One" has to accept you even with your mistakes. The person you make allowances for equally has to make allowances for you. Be careful of labeling someone that doesn't accept you for you as "the one" be careful if someone you are dating is constantly trying to change you and force you to change. Be careful if they are always critical of you and your ways.
It is good when someone you are dating wants you to change for the better and motivates you to be the best you can be, but if they are going about it in a critical and controlling way and nothing you do ever seems to be good enough and they think that motivation you is them putting you down so that you can take action or they are always comparing you to other people then I doubt that such a person is "the one"
Remember that in point 2 I said that "the one" is someone that you are ready to live with their flaws. Ask yourself if you are willing to put up with someone who is constantly trying to change you, someone who is always putting you down and comparing you to others and be honest about whether you want to spend the rest of your life with such a person.
4. "The One" is the person you are willing to stick by or the person who is willing to stick by you even after your relationship has been tested. It is easy to think that someone you are in a Christian relationship with is "the one" when everything is going good and everything is perfect. But never measure the strength of your relationship based on when things are good, measure the strength of the relationship based on the challenges you are able to overcome. I can go as far as saying that you don't really have a relationship until that relationship has endured and overcome a test.
In fact one of the things that convinced me that faith was "the one" was after a major challenge we went through in our relationship which was as a result of some mistakes that I made. But she stuck by me despite my mistakes. We were at a point where the relationship was either going to stand or fall and to be honest, it looked like it was going to fall, but guess what? We survived the test and the relationship stood against all the odds. That's when I knew that we had something solid, a relationship that can withstand the storms, it was evident that our foundation was strong because it couldn't be shaken. How can a person like that not be "the one"
5. "The One" is someone that believes in you, someone that believes in your dream and vision, someone that can see gifts and abilities in you that you might not even see in yourself, someone that keeps believing in you and keeps encouraging you even when you stop believing in yourself (that's one of the things that convinced me that Faith was "the one") she saw in me qualities that I didn't even know existed.
6. "The One" Is someone you truly love not someone you are just settling for. People stay in relationships for all sorts of crazy reasons. I will never understand why people end up marrying someone they are not in love with. I will never understand why people go into marriage or stay in a relationship when they know they have doubts about the person they are in the relationship with. It really baffles me.
Remember that I said earlier that faith has a large part to play when determining if someone is "the one". You have to believe it in your heart, you can't afford to be doubtful, because when you are doubtful you will never be content and the grass will always look greener on the other side. There has to be true love, relationships are hard enough when there is true love among two people, it is a complete nightmare when there isn't true love.
I have seen people settle into a so called Christian relationship and even get married to someone they are not really in love with, maybe because the girl got pregnant and they wanted to do "the right thing" or maybe due to immigration problems, or because the guy or girl is rich and they want someone rich who can provide them with material things. Such people are never truly happy in their relationship and such relationships always end up falling apart eventually.
Still not sure if he/she is "the one"? Check out these questions:
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