Questions & Answers on Sex and Relationship Funmi Akingbade II

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Bro Kunle Emmanuel
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date_of_ marriage: 23 Oct 2000

Questions & Answers on Sex and Relationship Funmi Akingbade II

Post by Bro Kunle Emmanuel » Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:48 pm

Question and answer

Not well lubricated even when turned on lately, even when I am turned on, I am not very lubricated.

I am just in my early 20s but I have been noticing a high level of vaginal dryness, and I definitely am not in early menopause. Just got married few years now. Love and enjoy sex but the dryness makes sex painful.
Mrs. Cosmos Abigail



First let me start by saying that you definitely may not be too sure what can be going on in your body. So, I would advise you to be more health conscious. However, experiencing vaginal dryness can result from lots of different things, most of the times, they are things ladies of your age group would not have considered important. Such including but not limited to dehydration; if you do not drink a lot of water, you may experience vaginal dryness. As a matter of fact, taking certain medications (even over-the-counter antihistamines, cough syrups, cold medicines and some antibiotics, or if you are breastfeeding and you do not take lots of water, you may experience this. Besides physiological changes of the mucosal tissue or a thinning of mucosal tissue and changing hormone levels during menopause can be a cause.

Try and make sure you have some personal lubricants, always have them on hand for getting wet. Choose water-based lubricants; they are safer if using condoms. Oil-based lubes can damage the integrity of condoms. And avoid coloured, scented, and flavored lubricants, which can trigger yeast infections and may ultimately exacerbate dryness.

I am so confused here

I think I am repeatedly contracting yeast infection from my wife. Because how can it be that the only time I experience painful urination, redness of the head of my penis and itchy feelings were only after having unprotected sex with my wife?

It started months ago, so to be sure I have my facts, I started using condom while having sex with her giving the excuse that we do not need more babies, but the actual fact is that I wanted to be sure the infection is not coming from me. I need your advice before confronting her with infidelity. What do you think?
Confused husband


Actually, it is rare, but it does happen, according to research. A husband can develop similar symptoms of yeast infection if the wife has been infected with it, symptoms such as —redness, itching, or unusual discharge—after having unprotected sex. Husband can be especially at risk if the husband is taking antibiotics for a long time, or if he has diabetes, and he is also treating it with medications or if the man has an impaired immune system (all of which can allow yeast to flourish) or if he’s uncircumcised. The foreskin creates a moist environment that is conducive to yeast growth. Now yeast infection is not majorly as a result of infidelity or extra marital affairs. It could be but majority of yeast infection is not as a result of that.

Many wives who do not observe good vulva hygiene can have yeast infection. Or when they are taking some antibiotics for a long time. Or if they are in their menstrual cycle. Or if the husband does not clean up the dry uric acid on the tip of his penis before penetrative sex. However, over-the-counter antifungal medicine can be used to treat the condition, but it’s best to hold off on having sex until your symptoms—and your wife’s are completely gone. That way, you won’t risk re-infecting each other.

As much as it is noise, it’s just not working for me

Dear Funmi, much has been said and written about the magic, mystery, and beauty of missionary position. But frankly speaking, this position is not working for me. It’s more of a nightmare and excruciating pain for me. It brings pain instead of pleasure. Why is this so? For me, sex in the missionary position is a no go area, what can I do?
Mrs. Margaret Etimafo



Actually, certain sex positions could be more painful than others if you have a tilted uterus, all other things being equal. Some 20 per cent or more of women all over the globe have been discovered to have a retroverted uterus. This is a condition in which the top of the uterus naturally slants toward the spine or tailbone instead of up toward the belly button. You may definitely not know this except you have a scan done.

Just to be on the safer side and make sure everything is working fine, I will suggest a visit to the gynaecologist for an examination to determine if yours is tilted. Just to be sure. As a matter of fact, a sharply retroverted uterus can make sex to be painful, and even the use of some certain sanitary pads like the tampon. Different positions, such as woman on top, can alleviate the discomfort, and if you’re trying to conceive and have a tilted uterus, lying on your tummy after sex may help sperm swim into your cervix, this is very important to bear in mind.



Funmi Akingbade, cafi.punch@yahoo.com
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Bro Kunle Emmanuel
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Re: Questions & Answers on Sex and Relationship Funmi Akingbade II

Post by Bro Kunle Emmanuel » Sun May 21, 2017 8:50 am

What to do when she is pregnant?

We are newly married and already my wife and I are anticipating her first pregnancy, but I am a little bit concerned. My object of concern is just what to expect sexually while she is pregnant. I love sex, dream of sex, engage in sex with a high velocity and I really would not want any pregnancy to put me on hold for the nine-month period of her pregnancy. Besides this, I know my wife secretly fears the size of my penis thinking it may cause damage to the baby or be too big for her while in pregnancy state. I am highly endowed and this is really not to my advantage.

The best married husband so far

There is actually no need for you to experience fear or anxiety of any kind. Both of you can still experience blissful sex from day one of conception to few days to delivery. The best ways to experience blissfulness are as follows-;

One … Be very understanding, caring and tolerant to any change in condition especially any of her particular or unique reaction to pregnancy. The moment this is in place, I can assure you that both of you are going to experience the best of sex.

Two … I need you to know that the vaginal secretions generally have a much stronger odour during pregnancy than at other times, so it is advisable to encourage her to clean up well.

Three … How much a woman wants and enjoys sex can vary during pregnancy, not only from one woman to another, but also in the same woman at different times throughout the 40 weeks.

Three … In fact, some women have their first orgasm or multiple orgasms while pregnant.

Five … I also need to tell expectant pregnant wives this: remember that, just because your husband wants you to start the sexual encounter doesn’t mean he expects you to take over the sex bed. Once he knows you are hot for him on bed, he’ll be so turned on he’ll be the one jumping all over you. But kindly be careful not to hurt your wife or the baby.

Six … both husband and wife must know that if sex hurts so badly first, it may be likely the wife is not producing enough lubricant. So buy additional artificial lubricant to prevent friction, pain and hurt. Then it may also be that you both are not spending enough time together during foreplay. If you spend quite a good time with foreplay to become adequately aroused, sex will definitely be without much pain.

Seven … The vagina can accommodate any size of a penis inasmuch as the same vagina can accommodate the head of a new born baby and so far, there has not been any penis size that is as big as the head of a new born or the body mass of a new born baby. Any time you and your wife are getting busy, take it slow. Wife, have your husband lavish attention on all your hot spots, with plenty of genital touching and tongue teasing. And make sure you apply some water-based lube to your vagina or his shaft right before he enters you.

She has lost interest in sex

I am a regular reader of your column. I got married about seven years ago and the marriage is blessed with two lovely kids, six and two years old respectively. I fall in the category of men who did not have the ‘’best of time’’, sexually before marriage due to parental strictness and guidance (a blessing in disguise, you will say). Hence, I was looking forward to a sexually enjoyable and explosive marriage. I met my wife a virgin and she never allowed me to have sexual intercourse during our courtship.

The first six months of our marriage was beautiful when it comes to sex, but after then, her interest dwindled; she did not initiate sex anymore and I became more of burden anytime I demanded sex at night. These days, I am lucky when I am able to have it once in a week; best-case scenario is twice in a week. I have tried my best to make her happy by buying her gifts from time to time; but the effect does not last long. I bought a Honda car for her just for good sex, but nothing changes.

It is becoming so frustrating. I have tried on a couple of occasions to make her read your columns but she does not; she is not an avid reader. I am giving up the fight and I do not want to seek for pleasure outside my marriage, even though the temptations are always there.

I am confused.

Bolero kunle

Thanks a lot for sharing with me, l want to first appreciate the fact that you have done a great job by not taking irrational decisions. I would also want to add that you should try to create time out that you will actually pour your heart out to your wife the way you did to me now. I am so sure, when she sees the importance, she will definitely change because no woman wants her marriage to pack up. You can do this by going for a weekend vacation to a free, quiet and private place together, keep the children with trusted friends and just go out alone together. This eradicates stress and helps both of you to unwind.

You should also remember that affection and foreplay mean a lot to many ladies, if you skip foreplay, most of them feel as if they are being legally raped or put under the knife of a surgeon. Then make sure that the way and manner you address and talk to her is befitting a wife and not an elevated house girl.

My condom slips off

I recently got married to a young beautiful girl. We decided not to start child-bearing immediately after marriage. We resorted to using condom for family planning. But my problem is that during sex, the condom slips off too frequently and this is quite irritating. Is there a better way to wear it? I don’t want to use any other method.

Marvel

I can understand your frustrations, because badly fitting condoms reduce the sexual pleasure of couples. A recent study on 436 men found that 45 per cent had used ill-fitting condoms before. These men were more than twice as likely to report the condom breaking or slipping and contributing to difficulty in reaching orgasm for both partners. They were also five times more likely to suffer irritation of the penis and report reduced sexual pleasure for them and their partners. Using condoms also affected erections, with men around twice as likely to say they interfered with their erection or caused erection loss.

Some husbands who also complained of condoms becoming dry during sex were twice as likely to remove the condom before the end of intercourse. When next you want to purchase a condom, ask questions such as the size, the make and brand name. This will assist you to choose the right one.
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